That Crazy Saturday Night
by SupremeBoredom
Summary: I suck at Summaries: This is a story based off a true event that happened to me and my friends. I'm Tweek, My best friend Emily is Token, My friend Tori is Clyde and my friend Ashley is Craig. I'm not sure what to say about this, so just read this if you want. One-shot story.


Author's Note: This is a random story I'm writing based on a true event that happened to me. But some things are different to suit the characters better.

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park

* * *

RIIIING

RIIIING!

I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. I groaned. I normally don't sleep much with coffee always in my system. But last night wore me out. You're probably wondering what it was. Well you're lucky. Now grab a seat, eat some cookies and listen to the damn story.

* * *

I was just sitting there doing my home and drinking coffee. When the phone rang.

"GAH!" I flinched and fell out of my chair. When I got up, I answered the phone. "H-hello?"

"Hey Tweek. It's Clyde. Me and the guys are going out. You wanna come with?"

"U-Um. Sure." I reply. I'm kinda glad he called. My parents were working at the coffee shop and I was getting scared, thinking that some demon will walk into my house and kill me. Bringing me down to hell with him. "Where w-we me-meeting up a-at?"

"We're actually at you're front door." He replied.

"Y-you are?"

"Yeah, now come out or we'll sneak in through the window."

That was enough for me to run out of my room, down the stairs and to the front door. I don't like people sneaking in through my window. It makes me think they're going to abduct me. Well you can blame my parents for that during the child abduction crisis.

I opened the door.

"Hey Tweek. Decided to finally come out huh?" Clyde greeted.

"Shut up Clyde. And give Token his cellphone back." Said Craig.

"So u-um, W-what are we go-going to d-do?" I asked.

"We're going out to North Park." Craig replied.

"Wh-why? What are w-we d-doing there?" I was starting to panic. It wasn't often that one would leave South Park. Me, I've never left South Park. Well, maybe a few times. But those weren't intended to happen.

"You'll see dude." He replied.

"And don't worry Tweek, we'll have fun." Token added.

It took them 20 minutes of trying to convince me to go until finally I agreed.

"F-fine. But i-if anything bad ha-happens it's all y-your guy's fault!"

"Awesome. Come on dude!" Said Clyde pulling at my arm.

"Finally, that was the longest damn 20 minutes ever." Craig mumbled.

We walked in silence towards North Park. Token broke the silence. "Clyde will you please quit taking money out of my pocket?"

"Sorry." Clyde replied handing at least 100 dollars to Token.

"Dude, why are you taking his money? He said he would pay for everything we do." Said Craig pushing Clyde to the ground.

"I know. I just wanted some cash." This comment resulted in me laughing, Token face palming and Craig flipping him off.

"I-I'm hungry can w-we e-eat something f-first?" I asked.

"We'll eat when we get there Tweek." Said Token. I frown. I'm REALLY hungry. And I need more coffee. If I don't get more coffee will I go completely nuts like I do the other times I don't drink it? If I don't eat will I die of starvation? Oh jesus! I don't wanna die!

"AHHHHH!" I screamed at my thoughts.

"What's wrong?" I wasn't sure who asked that but their voice scared me even worse than the thoughts.

"Can w-we at least s-stop and get s-some co-coffee?" I asked.

"Okay. Fine." The extremely creepy voice replied.

We stop at the nearest restaurant that served coffee. After drinking three cups and taking a big thermos with me, we leave.

"Tweek how much fucking coffee do you need?" Craig asked.

"Shh. Ju-just enjoy t-the fact I f-feel better no-now." I say calmly.

We walk in silence once again. Finally we got to North Park.

"We're in North Park. What do ya guys wanna do?" Token asked.

"Let's go to the arcade that's closing down. I heard that they're letting kids under 15 play games for free." Suggested Clyde.

"Okay, we'll go there."

We go running to the arcade. We're stopped by some weird Mexican pedophile. "Hey there." He said.

Of course, I'm scared.

"Do you kids want to play a game?" He asked us.

I just about exploded with fear. "GAH! N-NO! PLEASE DO-DON'T RAPE ME! I-I'M TOO YOU-YOUNG TO DIE!" I ran as far as I could from him. Token just said no and ran after me, Clyde said he'd rather eat shit and spit in the man's face and ran after me, and Craig flipped him off and ran after me.

I stopped running when I bump into a lamppost. Craig, Clyde and Token catch up to me. I look like I'm having a seizure.

"Are you okay?" Token asked.

I get up. "Y-yeah. That g-guy was really cr-creepy."

"Look the arcade is right there!" Yells Clyde running into a crowded building. We run after him.

"GAH! S-So MANY PEOPLE! IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Craig stopped me from running out.

"Tweek. You need to calm down. I know you're not used to seeing so many people in one place but you need to settle down."

I heard a couple kids nearby making fun of me. "Look at that spaz over there." One said.

"He's scared of people. How pathetic." Another one mocked.

"Maybe he'll get a seizure from playing one of the games." Said the first one, making them both laugh.

Craig flipped them off. They both went up to him.

"Got a problem kid?" Asked the first one.

"Yes actually I do." Craig responded in a monotone voice.

"You here that?" Said the second kid. "Mr. I have a boring nasally voice has a problem."

"Ohhh We're sooooo scared." Added the first one.

"Why should you be scared? Is it the fact that you two are assholes who made fun of someone who can't control their paranoia and got caught by a carefree badass like me?"

The two boys looked shocked.

"You know, we'll kick your ass!" Said the second one.

"Go ahead. You two are weaklings anyway so it probably won't hurt." Craig's face was expressionless.

The first kid punched Craig in the face. Craig looked as if nothing even happened.

"That's all you got?"

The second boy kicked me in the stomach. It hurt REALLY BAD!

"AHHH!" I screamed.

"Dude. That's pathetic. Don't go for the weakest target." Craig said to the two boys.

"Shut up you expressionless freak!" Shouted the first boy.

What happened the next ten minutes was kind've a blur. The pain in my stomach finally healed. We all got kicked out because Craig ended up breaking the two boys' arms and legs and had them coughing blood. Clyde was mad because he was having fun. Token cared less that we left.

"Dude. EVERY TIME! You get in a fight." Clyde whined.

"And every time you start crying and beg to go home."

Me and Token laughed, It was true. Clyde was a huge crybaby.

"G-guys I'm st-starving! Can w-we pl-please eat now?" I ask.

"Sure. Where you guys wanna eat?" Asked Token.

"Let's go to Taco Bell!" Clyde exclaimed.

Of course. Clyde wants tacos as always.

"Okay."

Token turned he other way and signaled us to follow him. It was so weird how he knew where everything in North Park was. Like he lived here or something.

The way there was kinda annoying. My random outbursts seemed worse than usual. Clyde kept singing some weird song about tacos. Craig stayed quiet but flipped everything we seen off on the way there. Token was being a GPS telling us every single detail of where we are and where we're going. Finally we see a small Taco Bell that had no one in it. That's good. That means nothing bad will happen.

"Welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order?" Asked a blonde lady behind the counter.

I order a 5 layer burrito, Token gets the same, Craig gets nothing, and Clyde gets 12 tacos just for himself.

We eat in silence.

"Craig you have to eat something." Says Clyde eating his 7th taco.

"I'm not hungry." Craig replied.

I was too busy staring at some fat cat outside that was eating the remains of an unfinished burrito. There was something about that cat. I'm not sure what it was. But I couldn't get my eyes off it. I wasn't listening to my friends anymore. Just staring at that cat. Token put me out of my train of thought. "Dude. You okay?"

"Yeah." I reply slowly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I reply even slower.

He focuses his view to what I'm staring at. "Is that cat scaring you?"

"No... It's just... interesting."

"A cat? Dude you're weird." Said Craig.

"Can we leave now? I'm getting bored." Said Clyde.

"Okay." I say. "Can we just... get the cat?"

"If we do will you quit talking so slow?"

"Yeah..."

We leave the Taco Bell from the door in the back So I could get the cat. The cat was really friendly and it just cuddled in my arms.

"Feel better?" One of my friends ask.

"GAH! Y-yeah!"

"Let's just walk around until we find something cool to do." Token said.

We all nod and began to walk around North Park.

"I'll be back guys." Said Craig. "Token can I have 200 bucks?"

Token handed him the money. "What for?"

"You'll see. Meet me at the Stallaway in an hour."

"What's Stallaway?" Asked Clyde.

"It's a random place where weirdos go drink and party and wake up with regrets." Craig replied.

"Ar-are we act-actually going in the-there?" I asked. That place sounds horrible.

"No. It's just a nearby place from where I'm going to where you're going." Then he turned around and left.

"Later Craig." Clyde and Token say in unison as he left.

"So wh-what are w-we doing n-now?" I asked.

"There's a toy store. Let's walk in for the fun of it." Says Token.

"S-sweet."

Once again, the walk was annoying. Token being a GPS and Clyde singing his taco song.

"Hi. Welcome to KG Toys. Is there anything I can help you with?" Asked a worker when we walked in.

"N-no. GAH! Thanks."

"Okay. If there's anything you need let me know." She replied.

We walk further into the store. "Dude. How did she not notice that you have a cat with you?" Asked Clyde.

I look down at the cat. "I-I don't know."

"Better be careful." He told me.

We all had fun! Token was jumping on a trampoline. Clyde was driving around in a mini toy car. And I was playing with the cat with a little plastic bouncy ball.

"Guys it's been an hour." Said Token. "We better go meet up with Craig."

Me and Clyde whine in unison.

"But I wanna stay longer!" Clyde complained.

"Well, we could always come back later. Now come on!" Token pulled Clyde out of the KG toys. I follow.

This time, the walk wasn't annoying. Token didn't become a GPS and Clyde was actually being quiet. Finally we see a big building that was blaring loud music and have bright lights. This was Stallaway. We see Craig in the front ... smoking?

We ran up to him. Yep. There was a lit cigarette in his mouth.

"W-why are you sm-smoking? You sho-shouldn't smoke Craig!" I yell.

Craig took the cigarette out of his mouth and blew smoke at my face. "Don't preach me spaz!"

"What did you spend all that money on anyway?" Asked Token.

Craig smirked and took off his coat and pulled up the left sleeve on his shirt. It revealed a tattoo of the Devil smoking and flipping you off. It had the words "Fuck off" written in fancy black lettering under the Devil. "You like it?"

Token face palmed. "Please tell me that's not permanent."

"I would, but that would be lying." He replied.

"Dude, why would you do that? You're parents are going to be so mad about this!" Said Clyde.

"I don't care. They probably won't even notice."

"Gah! D-did it h-hurt when you were ge-getting it?" I ask.

"Yeah. But don't care."

"How'd y-you get th-that thing o-on?"

Craig took another drag of the cigarette he had and gave me an evil look. "I'll tell you how Tweekers. First you walk in and sit in a chair. You choose the design you want to do and they make a stencil. Then they draw out the stencil on your arm. Then they take a needle, and put it in your skin."

The needle part freaked me out. "They put a n-needle in y-your sk-skin?"

Craig nodded his head and walked closer to me. "Yeah. They then move the needle in the shape of the stencil."

"AHHHH!" That was enough for me to hear. I could tell Token and Clyde were freaked out as well.

"HEY YOU!" We heard a voice yell. We all turn around and see some kid who looked 13.

"GAH!" I screamed.

"You with the cat! Where'd you get that cat?" He questioned.

"U-Um Behind a T-Taco Bell." I reply.

The boy laughed. "You know, you shouldn't take strange cats right?"

"H-he's not strange! He's co-cool!"

"What's so cool about a cat named Squishy?"

"Sq-Squishy? Is th-that his name?"

"Yeah. And that's my cat!" The boy took Squishy from my arms. "Later spaz!"

"N-no! That's my cat!" I yell.

"Tweek it's just a cat you seen behind a Taco Bell. Let it go." Said Clyde.

"N-NO! THAT MY CA-CAT!" I ran after the boy who took Squishy.

"Shouldn't we go after him?" Token asked Clyde and Craig.

"Nah. He'll be fine. He'll get scared of something and come running back here." Answered Craig.

But I was just focused on getting the cat back. I didn't pay attention to anything else. So nothing scared me. I tackled the boy, causing Squishy to fly out of his arms.

"What are you doing spaz?" He questioned.

"THAT'S...MY...CAT!" I yell. I get off him and run after Squishy.

"Kid! Get back here!" The boy screamed chasing after me.

I ignore him and continue running to Squishy. I pick up the cat. "It's okay, Squishy. You're safe with me now."

"Maybe so, but you're not safe from me." I turn around and see the boy out of breath.

"OH JESUS! Pl-PLEASE DON"T HU-HURT ME! I'LL GI-GIVE YOU BACK SQ-SQUISHY! JUST GAH! DO-DON'T HURT M-ME!"

"Look spaz. I don't want to hurt you." He said.

I look at him. "Yo-you don't?"

"No. Just give me Squishy and I'll leave you alone."

I sigh, pet Squishy, and hand Squishy to the boy.

"Wow. You're easy. I was lying. Actually, I am going to hurt you. I'm going to pound your face to the fucking ground!"

"AHHHH!" I screamed. I tried running away, but we were at a dead end and the boy was blocking the only way out."

He punched me in the stomach. "OH JESUS! PL-PLEASE STOP!" Instead he threw another punch at my face. "GAH! Somebody Please! HELP ME!" Instead of my calls for help being answered, I end up being beat up from the boy. The result ended in me being all bruised up and bloody. My left arm was fractured, I broke my right leg, and sprained several joints. It HURT!

The boy looked at what he did to me and laughed. "Remember one thing spaz. Never EVER! Touch my Squishy." He kicked me in my side before leaving. I couldn't move. I was in so much pain. 'This is it.' I thought to myself. 'This is when I die.' I began sobbing to myself more of fear of dying than pain. Luckily for me, Craig, Clyde, and Token came to my rescue ten minutes later.

"Dude. What happened to you?" Asked Clyde. Instead of answering I sob even harder.

"Tweek, did that asshole hurt you?" Asked Craig.

Without looking up, I nodded.

"Are you okay Tweek?" Asked Token.

This was what made me look up. "D-do I look O-Okay?" I screamed.

"Come on guys. We need to take Tweek home."

Craig picked me up over his shoulder and we leave the horrid scene.

"You know Tweek, you're very lucky we found you." Said Craig.

"I kn-know" I reply. "Gu-guys, I broke m-my legs. My a-arm hu-hurts really ba-bad. Ca-can you please t-take me to the ho-hospital?"

That night I went to the hospital in North Park and got a surgery on my arm, and a cast on my leg. Luckily Token brought enough money to pay for my hospital bill and I got to go home. I have to use crutches but I don't care. They make me feel safe for some reason. I didn't get home till 2:30 in the morning. Of course my parents wanted answers about what happened to me, and where I went. I told them everything. But they just gave me a lecture about having their permission the next time it happens and that we should be supervised. Then they gave some coffee, but I too tired to drink it and went to bed.

* * *

Yep, that was a crazy night. But it was one of the best times of my life. Except for when I got beat up.

I rolled off my bed and grabbed the crutches next to it. I then walk over to the phone. "He-hello?"

"Hey Tweek. Sorry about what happened last night." It was Clyde.

"It's f-fine." I reply.

"Okay, if you say so. Me and Craig are going to the movies. Wanna come with?"

"W-What about To-Token?"

"He got grounded for coming home late."

I smile. "Su-sure why GAH! n-not?"

"Awesome. Come to my house at 1:30."

I hang up. "Lo-Looks like th-there's going to b-be another crazy ni-night."

Moral of the story: Never EVER! Even if you're dared to, pick up a cat named Squishy.

* * *

Author's Note: Yes. This happened to me the first Saturday in July. I healed from it already of course.

The peeps in this story are based on me and my friends. I'm Tweek. My best friend Emily is Token. My friend Tori is Clyde. And my friend Ashley is Craig. (Yes, Ashley actually got a tattoo and smoked.)


End file.
